Dear Sally,

My brother-in-law is going to study in London and is therefore going to move from Cambridge to London to stay with us for 1 year (I really hope it's way less than that). Now, we don't have a separate room and he'd need to stay in our living room that is also the room I use to feed and change our newborn baby and that needs to be passed to enter the kitchen that has no door. I already bought a room divider to serve as a door for the kitchen to give me some privacy when I cook, but how do I maintain my privacy and continue using the living room for feeding once he's here?

Anon xo

Dear reader,

I’m going to go ahead and make an assumption that your brother in law is a) an adult, and b) of sound mind. And yet, if this assumption is correct, I’m at a loss to why anyone would suggest it would be acceptable for him to stay in your living room FOR A YEAR, even if you did not have a newborn baby.

Why, pray tell, is he not renting a bedroom in a revolting flat-share in Tooting Bec with two Aussies and a Kiwi named Gazza? Why isn’t he funding this room with a part time bartender job at the Walkabout in Shepherd’s Bush?

If your brother in law fails to provide a satisfactory answer to the above two questions - and frankly I cannot think of an answer that would be satisfactory - please follow the below directions to the letter.

1) Go into your lounge room

2) Gather your brother in law’s things

3) Walk to the nearest window 

4) toss them out dramatically,

5) (optional) Text your brother in law to offer him babysitting work to help pay for Tooting Bec.

Right then. If you’re looking for me, I’ll be hunting down the person who suggested this preposterous living arrangement so I can murder him (because, let’s be real, it’s clearly a him).

Sally x

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