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Dear reader, For me, this was an easy one. It was clear from your letter that having your parents staying with you for two weeks would be an added stressor to your life at a time when you are already at capacity. Good for you for recognising this! Personally, I don’t think I could have handled having my parents or in-laws stay with me for 2 weeks when I had little babies if they weren’t the type to help (thankfully they are). In light of this, my advice is that you email / text / WhatsApp a message such as the below: “Regarding your trip - we are so excited to see you! Things are pretty hectic at home so I’m thinking that for everyone’s comfort it will be better for you to get your own accommodation, so I’ve done some research and here are some links of places nearby. Happy to go halves / pay / whatever you think is fair. Also - shall I book us in to see the penguins on September 25th?” Job done. In response to the people who commented on IG that our reader should “suck it up”, that she “shouldn’t be complaining” and that “she should cherish her parents” - I don’t think the reader needs to suck this up, I don’t think she was complaining, and I saw no evidence that she doesn’t cherish her parents. What I saw was a person who knows what makes her feel overwhelmed. She’s not insisting that her parents help, just that they find alternative accommodation if they’re not going to. Perfectly reasonable, I think. A final word: You’re allowed to have boundaries, even with those you love. Even with those who have done a lot for you. By “sucking it up” and not saying how you feel, you’re not only disregarding your own needs, you’re also thrusting your parents into a 2-week marathon of huffing, snark and passive aggression. My guess is that thanks to you, everyone will have a much happier trip, and that your parents will leave feeling more loved and cherished than ever. Sally x
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