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Weirdly, I haven’t experienced this. I do, however, regularly experience the opposite. I start each year DETERMINED not to make any new friends (because I don’t even have time to see my old friends) and then wham!, out of nowhere, I find myself with new friends. Usually it’s because the person is funny. I am DEFENCELESS against funny people. One wicked joke and I’m yours for life. (Have you heard the expression “Tall cures all?” For me, it’s “funny cures all.” Some of my friends are real assholes but they are HILARIOUS.) But this isn’t about me. And, let’s face it, life is too short to be bored. So. The bad news. You need to have some interaction with boring-lady. I think you know this. It is part-and-parcel of the parent deal, much like having to sacrifice everything for your needy little parasites only to be blamed for their life’s troubles (by a psych that you’re probably paying for). The fact is, having a connection with her friend’s mum is good for your daughter and if you want her to have friends, it’s unavoidable. The good news This relationship can work for you too. After all, you need to be plugged into the network of parents at school. How else will you know that it’s Roman Day on Thursday, and that make-shift chariots are on sale from the $2 shop on Highett Road? Who else will you ask to pick Josie up from swimming because you got an emergency last-minute laser hair removal appointment for your moustache? Who else will remember to pick up an extra orange T-shirt for “harmony day” while they are down at the shops (boring people are amazing at this stuff). The excellent news. This interaction does not have to include a lot of socialising. Set your boundaries up front. When collecting your daughter from her friend’s house, text the mum and say “I’ll be over to pick up Ella at 4pm – have to dash straight to the gym after so it will be a grab and go.” Or, if you have time to pop in for a cuppa, say – “Ok but just a quick one because I have to be line-dancing at 5pm.” Setting a time limit upfront makes it easier to get away and makes you seem friendly but not rude. When you do need to socialise, invite a bunch of people. Boring people are wonderful in groups. Often, in groups, I’ve found the most boring people to be wildly entertaining. But just in case that’s not how it goes with your daughter’s friend’s mum, maybe hedge your bets and invite a hilarious asshole too. Sally x
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