|
Not to be Captain Obvious or anything, but I assume you’ve thought about killing someone, hiding the body under the pile of crap in the hallway, and then tipping off the police that something fishy is going on with the people at apartment 3F, right? If this solution didn’t work, don’t despair, we have options! And I, for one, wouldn’t want you to miss out on the opportunity to leave passive aggressive signage about. Man, I miss passive aggressive signage from the days I worked in corporate! What a luxury it was to have a daily reminder stuck to the wall telling me that it isn’t other people’s jobs to do my dishes, or that I might want to consider flushing before vacating the cubicle after using the bathroom. Now I think of it, my kids could definitely benefit from a little of this signage at my place. But I digress. Passive aggressive signage, while unlikely to make much of a difference to the mess, is a delightful way to blow up this situation. Now don’t go with something benign like “Don’t leave stuff here” for heaven’s sake. No no no. Let’s make it fun. If I were you, I’d write something along the lines of “Please leave any goods you wish to donate anywhere in the communal areas of the buildings to be gathered up and sold on Facebook Marketplace on Friday afternoon at 5pm. Proceeds will go toward Febreeze and cockroach fumigation. Please and thank you.” Now, it goes without saying that if any neighbours ask you about the signage, you need to place a strong suggestion that a different neighbour is the one behind the signage. At the same time, let them know that your new snow boots, which were left in the hallway last week, were carted off last Friday, so the landlords aren’t kidding around with the Facebook Marketplace plan. If it doesn’t fix the problem at least it will create some sky-high tension in the building that will make this communal rubbish stuff seem like small potatoes. Sally x P.S. If anyone does leave snow boots lying around, definitely start wearing them. With any luck, my next Dear Sally email will be from someone who doesn’t know how to politely tell their neighbour that they’re wearing the wrong snow boots, and the full circle-ness of it all will be delightful!
|
