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Look. I love starting anything with the word ‘look’. Once I actually named a person ‘Look’ (in my mind) because that was how she began every email to me.* *It was actually my friend Lisa who named the person ‘Look’ for the afore reasons. I stole this anecdote because I thought it was funny, and entertaining people is my life’s purpose. I think you can see where this is headed. Suffice to say, when I read your message I had to check it wasn’t from one of my own sisters in law. It wasn’t. Phew. Admission time: when it comes to entertaining anecdotes, I am a serial story thief. (Important: I’m referring to verbal stories delivered in a group setting, not my written books. Doing this in written books is frowned in publishing. Weird, eh?) Anyhoo - my defence is weak, but here goes… Sometimes I truly believe stories are my own because I live in my imagination so much that I forget what is real and what isn’t. More often, admittedly, I blatantly pass people’s stories off as my own for no reason other than that I live for the lols. LIVE FOR THEM. Also because I tell the stories much better than the people who actually lived them. (Sorry, but it’s true.) I’d like to think that I wouldn’t do this right in front of the people I've stolen the story from, but honestly I probably have because I’m a busy lady and I forget which stories come from where. Most of my friends are aware of my casual relationship with the truth and take everything I say with a grain, which is great. Some of my friends even ASK me to relay their stories to a group because they enjoy hearing me tell them. Furthermore, I often begin almost a story with the disclaimer that all my stories would benefit from some ruthless fact-checking and are, at best, 30% true. I’ve found people to be extremely forgiving when they hear this and welcome my story eagerly. After all, I’d rather be lied to than bored with the truth. I assumed that was true of all people. No? Needless to say, I’m not going to recommend murder. I rest my case. Sally x
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